I'm Back!

Well, it's certainly been a while since I posted! Sorry about that, our family had several crisis in a row and blogging took a back seat for a while.

First, my mother fell and broke her hip. Since she is nearly 80 years old, this was a concern to us all. She had many complications from the fall and endured six surgeries. The last was only a week ago and we're hoping she doesn't need any more. Add to that an infection that wouldn't heal and a scare with her heart, and it becomes clear why we've been so worried about her. As I write this, she has finally been discharged after 5 weeks from the hospital and is currently in a rehab facility. I think she is on the road to recovery at long last.

Since I was spending so much time at the hospital with my mother, then coming home and trying to do all my normal activities as well, I managed to run myself down. I caught that awful flu bug going around and wound up in the hospital for a week myself. Recovering slowly, but each day is better than the last, so I'm not complaining.

Now, all of the above would be tough on any family, but we're not just any family. We're a Tourette's family. Simply put, added stress equals added symptoms and behaviors. Munchkin #3 really lost it with both grandma and mom in the hospital. He had nightly meltdowns and let me tell you, nothing breaks my heart more than to hear him cry over the phone that he needs me home and I'm stuck in the hospital. My husband did the best he could, but this is a kid who craves routine and mom not home at night is definitely not the routine. So, he cried. He didn't sleep. He was miserable. His tics increased until they were nearly non-stop, and he missed a lot of school.

Meanwhile, Munchkin #2 handled things in a different manner. His response to the stress was to get into trouble. Constant trouble, mind you. He defied teachers and his father. He got detentions at school. He became sullen and moody. Yes, he's days away from being 13, so some of this is normal. But, some isn't. I'm worried about #2, to be honest. Things are settling down and he's still sullen and moody. He just wants to be alone and sleep. Since he's shorter than most kids his age, I know he gets bullied at school. We've tried to stop it, but it still continues. In my heart, I think he's depressed and I'm going to look into counseling for him. I hate to see any of my kids hurting and I feel he is. Maybe a counselor can get him to talk a bit because he's sure not talking to us anymore.

Munchkin #1 actually did fairly well over the last month and a half, all things considered. She was moderately helpful with her brothers, and actually did her chores while I was in the hospital. Doesn't seem like much, but normally getting her to do any chore is ... well, a chore. Don't get me wrong - at 14, she thinks she knows everything there is to know and actually came out and told us that she knows much better than her "lame" parents. Okay, she didn't use the word "lame" but you could tell in the roll of the eyes it was on the tip of her tongue. Basically, she drives us crazy - which I suppose is her job as head teenager of the family. But, again, all things considered, she's handled the extra stress on the family fairly well.

Things will be happening with Munchkin #3 over the next few days. His tics never subsided once I came home and at this point, school is pretty much out of the question. All he is learning is how cruel the other kids can be - nothing much else. We're making an unscheduled trip to see the Tourette's doctor to try and address some of this. We're also considering home schooling for a while. I'm no teacher, but I know the school setting is not right for him at this point. We have to do something. I'll update the blog as we make these decisions for him.

In the interim, stay healthy out there. I don't know about other areas, but here people are dropping like flies from that flu virus. All the hospitals are full as well. So, take your vitamins and wash your hands frequently. If you do get it, take care of yourself.

More to come.

They're Growing Up

We are fast approaching two birthdays in our home - those of munchkin #2 and 3. Munchkin #3 will be 11 years old in a few weeks. It's hard to believe that small infant I can remember holding is rapidly approaching my own height. A family that we are friendly with has a 14 year old boy. I remember him at 10, and he was roughly the same size as munchkin #3 is now. I recently saw this boy and he now, a mere four years later, tops 6 feet in height. It struck me when I saw him that in three or four years, I too might be looking up to my youngest. How odd that will seem!

The other birthday we are approaching is munchkin #2's. He will be 13, making me the mother of TWO teenagers. One has been quite the handful, so two seems to me like it will be double the trouble. However, these two children couldn't be more different in personality and temperament. Maybe I'll get one easy teenager in munchkin #2? I can dream, anyway.

I wish there was a way to turn back the clock sometimes, although watching all of them grow and prosper is also warming to the heart. Still, I'm a mother. I miss my babies and toddlers, and I'm not sure when they turned into these small adults I see before me. Then again, a friend recently had a baby. My first thoughts were something along the line of, "I wish I had a small baby like that!" Then, memories of diapers, bottles, getting up in the night, and all the rest came flooding back. Maybe teenagers are not so bad after all!

Seriously though, for as much as people joke about having older kids, it can be a fun stage. Work and stress? Sure. But, they are really coming into their own and developing their own ideas and passions. Beyond that, the work side of parenting is less physical now. No hoisting a small child up onto a changing table and wrestling to change that diaper. No running after a two-year-old who managed to get loose in a store. Now, you have to talk with them and find out who they are. Sometimes you need to second guess them and figure out what they are trying to pull off too. I get mad sometimes, but then remember my own teen years where I did the same kinds of things.

Letting go and letting them make their own mistakes is the hardest part of parenting now. You so desperately want to protect them from it all - but, you can't. It's all about them stretching their wings and learning to fly at this stage. They can't learn to fly inside the nest, much to my dismay. I suppose I'll get used to the idea one day!